To the Citizens of Brookline, MA

I hereby declare a moratorium on people standing around with clipboards in the middle of Coolidge Corner sidewalks begging me to take just a minute to declare my support for safe drinking water, "the environment," the DNC, LaRouche, pandas, "the children," or anything else that's just an excuse to put me on your lame mailing list.

And if you team up to force me to walk through a gauntlet of two or more clipboard-wielding ideologues--casting away all plausibility of my pretending not to see you--the penalty shall be summary execution.

This moratorium goes into effect immediately.

Thank you.